Yikes. I've been having a pretty shitty time lately. Like, it's FINE, but just feels not so nice. There's nothing so sucky that I need to make a change, but I'm just feeling it. I've been in limbo for a few months between living at home and starting my own life and it's a pretty shitty place to be. I am so excited for the adventures of next year! I know so many things in my head, but my head doesn't have control over my feelings as much as I try. I know phases happen. Ups and downs. And I am fine with that. It's part of the circle of life! I just want it to be over, already! There are moments of light but it's mostly been a general "ugh". I keep calling my mom when I want to talk/cry about it and then we don't talk about it when I'm fine, so she thinks I'm losing it and that we need to find a solution. But really, I don't need a solution. That what makes it worse. I don't want to change anything. I just need to soldier through. I'll be absolutely fine. Better than fine. Life is great. I'm still SO YOUNG and I don't want/need to have everything figured out and it's fine to not get it right yet, right? I AM FINE with that, but also, like, not.
Welcome to my melancholy angst. It's cozy in here.