I've been in a weird rut lately. I feel like I am just coasting and living my life. There's a lot of good in that, but also I feel unsettled. I really wanna do something but the endless possibilities are so daunting that I usually end up doing nothing.
Also, I just really miss my friends. I feel like I am in an endless cycle of reaching out and saying "I miss you" and then nothing happens. (the cycle comes from both sides) I don't understand how two people (or five, or twenty) who want to see each other just can't seem to make it happen. That's life I guess. It's weird cause the majority of my friends are seniors and going through the whole college process right now. I can't even imagine what they're going through. I get stressed just hearing about it from them. It's also an interesting case study on human nature to compare them all. They all have such different responses and courses of action. I wonder how I would be? I guess I might find out soon.
I've been really immersed in college lately. Let me clarify. It's just kinda everywhere I turn. I already mentioned my friends with the applying. My other friend Allison is a freshman at CSU Long Beach. I went to visit her yesterday and I saw a little show that she was assistant stage managing. It was a lot of fun. The campus is really nice. Also, my sister is living with us and she just graduated so I've been hanging out with her and her college friends a lot. Getting a taste of the college social scene. And on our road trip last week, we visited Sarah's high school friend at UC Davis and that was fun also.
At this point in my life, I would definitely like to go to college. It seems like a lot of fun, and it's a great place to develop yourself safely and try a taste of everything. Also there are so many awesome opportunities in college that I can't wait to take advantage of.
But back to me feeling unsettled. I feel like in a weird transitory stage of waiting for something to happen. But nothing is gonna happen unless I make it happen. I'm constantly thinking about what to do. I really have loved traveling. Immersing in a new culture and place is such an amazing learning experience. I am so grateful that I have had the freedom to do that and I can't wait to do more.
I really want to spend an extended amount of time in New York. That city just flows in my blood. I feel the need to be there all day, every day. I get tweets from Playbill and Broadway.com sent to my phone and it's almost depressing because I wanna be there for ALL of it. I am trying to plan a trip there in early November. I have been talking to a lot of people about opportunities in the entertainment world. I figure that if I cast my net wide enough, I am bound to catch some fish. I already have a bunch of people who are connected and interesting and I have been talking to them.
I also really want to explore Europe. I have never been to the UK and I reeeeeally wanna go to London slash all over. My ideal plan would be two weeks in London at a homestay, two weeks in Paris with my family, and maybe a week or two in Italy or Spain or Germany. That just seems so awesome, I can't even imagine the glory that would be possible. Ahhh I love travel!
I feel pretty unmotivated today, but if I don't post this now, I never will. So bear with me, folks! I'll get back in the rhythm soon.
xoxoleah
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