My generation is so weird. It sometimes depresses me. We are such a technology-driven group, so obsessed with connecting and capturing everything that we often miss out on the real life connecting and appreciating. I am not some old-fashioned purist who abhors all things modern and mainstream--my home page on Safari is Facebook. And I am obviously not one of the brainless followers of trends and fads who just wants and takes without independent thought. I am just me, happy for all the technological advances in our world, yet sad for the future of the human race.
Woah, I did not mean to get this heavy and philosophical in paragraph one. I guess one of the main reasons I am writing this, is that I want to write down how I have been feeling so I can force myself to think about it through writing.
The main topic dominating my brain waves lately is friendship. There are a few subcategories that are traversing the folds of my brain right now.
First: Old Friends. There are a ton of old friends that I used to be superbly close to that I have completely lost touch with. I think about them a lot and sometimes I try to reconnect, but there is this boundary that is so hard to breach. If anyone I used to know is reading this, don't hesitate to reach out! I am always open to rekindling the fire. Or creating it, if need be.
Second: Current Friends. I have been feeling a lot of friction with some of my friends lately. Especially the ones my age. Most of them are seniors right now, and even if they aren't, everyone is super busy with school. I need to get me some unschooled friends! I try so hard to connect with my friends and hang out with them but it's so hard to make it happen by myself.
Third: New Friends. I have been really wanting to make new connections lately. I have a few people that I am just starting to get to know, but I really want to bypass all the early stuff and get to the deep conversations and strong bond. Like, I have this one friend who I love dearly and I really want to connect to her on a deeper level, and I feel like I share my good moments and problems with her and she seems to consider me a good friend also, yet whenever something seems wrong and I try to get her to open up, she dismisses me. I just want to help her! I hope one day we can cross that frontier and share souls. Maybe I just hope for way too much from friendships. But my friendships are so important to me and I am really looking to create more of those in my life and deepen the ones I already have. How do I do that? I guess that is sort of a rhetorical question... But if anyone has some brilliant words of wisdom, I am all ears.
p.s. the title is a lyric from American Pie by Don McLean. One of my all-time, never-wavering, forever-and-ever favorite songs.