Breakfast Club. Christina is the Criminal. Ethan is the jock. Allison is the Basket Case. Julia is the Brain. I am the Princess. I even have the hair to match.
I had a few friends over on Friday to celebrate my birthday. For some reason, I was in a little bit of a funk. I think it was one part PMS and one part my friends and two parts sugar overload. It kept feeling like we were just hanging out and not as much celebrating me. I don't know how to write about what I am feeling without sounding like an ungrateful little brat, but this is my place, and if I can write anywhere, it's here.
Birthdays (and holidays) are a big deal to me. I love traditions and grand gestures. I hardly ever really celebrate my birthday because of the timing. It's December 28th, three days after Christmas, and three days before New Year's. People are always either out of town or busy with other holiday plans. No one wants one more event to pass out from sugar and barely sleep.
So when I do plan something for my birthday, it's a special event in and of itself. And therefore, I was really excited to just be with my friends and hang out. It had been quite a while.
When everyone was here and we were all just hanging out, I started getting bummed out. I felt somehow excluded (I know I was projecting that myself) and not part of the conversation. I know that I have no reason to complain. I was acting like a victim. Just sitting there, wanting someone else to notice I was feeling out of it, and come over and hug me or something. But that's when I had to try and remember that people don't do what you want them to, just cause you want it. I didn't ask for anything or do anything proactive; I just sat there, feeling sorry for myself and bored.
I knew all this in the moment also, but I couldn't seem to pull myself out of it. I just went downstairs with everyone else to watch my all-time favorite cartoon--Aristocats. I was still bummed out, but I tried to enjoy my favorite movie. By the time it was over, I was feeling a little better. Kittens can do that.
Cuties. Me, Allison, Mia.
We came upstairs and got all snuggly on the bed. We all talked and had fun and laughed for hours and hours. There were still some weird moments, but I tried to enjoy them and I found that when I stopped thinking about it, I stopped caring. Or at least not as much.
It was really nice, at the end of the night when almost everyone was asleep, my last two awake friends and I went into the other bedroom and just talked until we fell asleep. It was wonderful.
In the morning, my mom and her boyfriend made us a huge breakfast and it was so yummy and fun. I ended up having a blast and I am glad some good came out of it. I just wish in the future, that I can pull myself out faster. But that's a life process so I'll just take it one day at a time.
So. Life lessons from Leah: Sometimes life sucks, but maybe you only choose to see it that way. Try to have fun, I guess.